Movie Review
So this past Sunday I had the wonderful joy of seeing "The Day the Earth Stood Still", staring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly. It seemed like it was a big budget movie not as big as Al Gore's waist line but still from his playbook. Now where to begin...
First, I am a big fan of "the world is going to end" movies. They are always fun for me. With that said, this wasn't your run of the mill apocalypse movie. They had the very (and I mean very) tired theme of the (spoiler alert) 'earth is in trouble because of man and his abuse'. I mean com'on! How many times can we see "An Inconvenient Rehash"...er well you get the point.
Second, as usual Keanu is the same as he is in every movie. He talks like a guy taking bong hits between cuts. No offense to the guy, he is successful and there have been a few movies I've liked him in, well ok two, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and The Matrix, but that is beside the point. Can he at least try and sound like an intelligent extraterrestrial?
Third, Jennifer Connelly. I do not know what has happened to her but I swear she has man hands now, and I just can't deal with that. I'm not sure why I was so distracted by her paws but I just kept thinking, "wow are those iron worker's hands?" Something about those meat hooks just seemed too unfeminine. Sorry Jennifer but talk to your agent and remember, no hands in close up shots!
Forth, the story. Way too unbelievable. I mean really an intergalactic confederacy of planets that are determined to save our planet but not those who live on it? I know, I know, it is supposed to be deep "if the planet dies you die, if you die the planet lives" ppptttffhh! Whatever! I don't even know how to respond to such drivel.
So one way to make the movie better would be not to make it at all...just come up with some better themes Hollywood, please. I'm tired of spending my money on these crazy, hair brained, save the planet from the humans movies.
First, I am a big fan of "the world is going to end" movies. They are always fun for me. With that said, this wasn't your run of the mill apocalypse movie. They had the very (and I mean very) tired theme of the (spoiler alert) 'earth is in trouble because of man and his abuse'. I mean com'on! How many times can we see "An Inconvenient Rehash"...er well you get the point.
Second, as usual Keanu is the same as he is in every movie. He talks like a guy taking bong hits between cuts. No offense to the guy, he is successful and there have been a few movies I've liked him in, well ok two, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and The Matrix, but that is beside the point. Can he at least try and sound like an intelligent extraterrestrial?
Third, Jennifer Connelly. I do not know what has happened to her but I swear she has man hands now, and I just can't deal with that. I'm not sure why I was so distracted by her paws but I just kept thinking, "wow are those iron worker's hands?" Something about those meat hooks just seemed too unfeminine. Sorry Jennifer but talk to your agent and remember, no hands in close up shots!
Forth, the story. Way too unbelievable. I mean really an intergalactic confederacy of planets that are determined to save our planet but not those who live on it? I know, I know, it is supposed to be deep "if the planet dies you die, if you die the planet lives" ppptttffhh! Whatever! I don't even know how to respond to such drivel.
So one way to make the movie better would be not to make it at all...just come up with some better themes Hollywood, please. I'm tired of spending my money on these crazy, hair brained, save the planet from the humans movies.
Labels: al gore, save the planet, The day the earth stood still
posted by RJ-77 at 7:43 PM
1 Comments:
You're tired of seeing these kind of movies, and you didn't like Jennifer C?
1. Stop listening to Steve Brown's movie suggestions - remember, maybe there's a reason he frequently goes by himself.
2. Nobody cares about hands like you do, Jennifer Connelly just "wasn't that into you" and you're bitter. But just in case, you'll get another chance to mock her later this year when she plays Darwin's wife in a movie called "creation!"
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